April 30 journal entry

April 30, 2007.

This is the journal of my seeking to know God. I started to label it “My Doubts” but hopefully it will be the story of my discovery. The thing is, despite my doubts, or skepticism, I want to know God. It started out as the thought of – what was first century Christianity like? How did they worship? What did they believe? It quickly developed into – I want to know God whether that includes Jesus or not.

If you want to know what first century Christianity was like, you’d better prepare yourself and decide, do I really want to know? Why? Because it was a lot different than what we think it was. Not nearly as dogmatic as it became. Nowhere nearly as unified as it has been presented. The NT canon became the NT canon to enforce a political end, not because of the commonly presented idea that all the things left out were heresy. The winners get to write history. The losers are vilified. Witness the demonizing of the CSA, especially during the last 20 to 30 years. Or the rewriting of history by the Soviets. So why do we believe that people 2k years ago were any different than they are today?